An AHA Moment!

So I'm thinking of all the stuff that has come up for me and wondering what it means. and I realize that the feeling small that I experienced was a mirror and that somewhere I am doing this to others and to myself. I also realized that the reluctance I sense from the other is also a reflection of my own reluctance to engage. I can see my self in the withdrawn and stunted response to physical touch and connection. I am grateful for this person has shown me that I had not greeted my "lovers" with open arms but rather with indifference. I had resisted connection and turned my back out of fear. Now I am ready to see myself. My daughter told me I had a Bob the builder complex last night. I didn't even know???.... She says I want to fix everything, says I am often saying "I've gotta get it together" and i never say we.. so yeah. She's right and I'm growing. I will say thank you to my friend but I'm not sure if I'll hang out withem' again.