My Daughter is NOT a Crack Hoe

Where do I begin? I'll start with the present. I am currently 33 and shortly after I turn 34 I will also become a grand mother, a mut mut, granny, grandma, GRAND YaYa! Yes..... I am. (You're thinking she's one hot granny...lol ) Now I know this brings a lot of questions to mind and most of you are probably counting on your fingers trying to figure out how it is possible numerically. Surely some of your calculations are correct and others may not be but either way, I am gonna be a granny. This seems to be a pattern that the women in my family line tend to follow, early onset of mother hood. For most of my life I saw this as a curse to be broken. (since I at the ripe old age of 14 years 363 days gave birth to my first beautiful baby girl) I listened to the statistics, saw the worry in the eyes of my family and felt the rejection at my school. I wondered at how quickly they feared for my life. As if chidbirth was like SARS or the ebola virus or small pox even. I wept often at the disappointment I felt was coming my way, but finally found a ralling point! My brain still worked and I wasn't restricted from going to school. So, I did. And a lot happened in between then and now. But, That is not the focus of this note. For all those reasons I protected my daughter as best I could from following the same path. Eventhough I (and countless other marvelous women) had found success and peace with it. In an effort to deter her I included her in the birth process of both of her siblings. For the first birth she was only 11years old! Yes people, I had her present for the whole thing. Legs spread, squating and loud breathing. She wasn't alone though, as some consolation, she was supported by more than 10 others who were also present to welcome this ancestor back. I also gave her books about sexuality and talked with her about her questions. (within reason for her age and maturity level) All this I did and much more to try and stave off the haunting sensation that she would be as I was and inter the Priesthood of MOMMY too soon. And yes, I said Priesthood. Being a Mom and a Grand YAYA requires some laughing Buddah and Monk like qualities. Though those characteristics rise to the front, they do not arrive there with out sincere choice being the vehicle. My entry into the priesthood of MOMMY was just like in blackbelt theater when the peasant goes to join the fighting monks and gets a lesson in how to do your chores but do them with peace. My grandmother, who was raising me, had not special words, no pampering, or harsh words for that matter. She, like the quiet monks on the mountain, kept to her path and only gave an example of how to wash out those cloth diapers and to keep up with my chores and responsibilities. At the time, I did not comprehend the concern that she must have held for me. Just as I have concerns for my daughter. But I say to my self in those times when I hear her crying on the phone with her soon to be, yet reluctant, co-parent: "My daughter is not a Crack Hoe! Yeah!!!! How's that for perspective. There are so many things that come in life to challenge each of us. For some its drug addicted parents, for others its illness like cancer or in my case a parent with mental health challenges. And so far, my daughter has graduated 2nd in her class, she is enrolled in college, she works 1 or 2 jobs at times and we get along well and treat each other with kindness and respect. So if I could spin the wheel of misfortune to get some other challenge, I wouldn't. I'd stick with this one. After all, if God thought so little of her, me, us would she have sent us a little one? I do not advocate that all teenagers should get pregnant and that it is the best path, just that it is not a death sentence or the end of a life. (just the opposite ;-) We will grow through this and become more of who we are. I know I did. My first understanding of my God-ness was the reflection in my daughters eyes. I knew that I was perfect when she looked at me and it made me want to be the best me I could be. She reminded me that there was so much more to life than morning the dysfunction of my family or the poverty of my home. That there is God and in God there is possibility. Now we get to have so much more! Tua Neter for this opportunity. Thank you all for your support. We love and welcome you. Stay tuned, I'd like to share this experience with you. You all share such beautiful light. By the way, as I was driving to bus boys and poets I was listening to an ad for Dominion Fertility Center and thought , "How ironic, we tell our daughers to wait, wait, wait, while other people who waited have to pay, pay, pay to experience the blessing of childbirth. Do you find this interestng too? We have pushed the birth age back past optimal health for birth and watch the decline of (some) populations birth rates. Why have we come to view children has a hardship? And who's idea is this anyway? Well, I get to grow out of it! More cheers for me! Thanks guys for reading. Drop a comment or just say AMEN!