When do we stop being humans and start being old? 102209

So um in the grocery store a coupla weekends ago and I'm standing behind an older gentleman. He turns to me and asks, "How old are you?" and of course I answer truthfully, cause he's my elder and I tell him 34. He says No way! You can't be any more than 25. I laugh because I think he's being cute and he's charming. I also thought he was with the woman in front of him and that his conversation with me was a branch off of a conversation they had been having. But it wasn't. He proceeds to flirt with me through the check out line and he's quite charismatic and engaging. I enjoyed the banter. Eventually, he gets up the nerve to ask me if I would spend some time with him. I know I didn't say this yet but we established his age as 73 years 10 months. He wants me to help him celebrate his birthday! He’s turning 74.

A million thoughts.....

1. Awwww he's so cute for an old guy.
2. What do these people think of me flirting with this old ass man?
3. Is he trying to just get some booty? Some of these old guys ain't no different than the young guys.
4. What would his children think...of course he has children older than me
5. Why doesn't he hang out with some one his own age.
6. Well he is funny and seems ok.
7. Does he think that he can just buy my time?
And on, and on and on.....

But I agree to give him my number. After all, we were having a nice conversation.

When he walks me to my car he shares with me that at his age, there aren't a lot of people his age who want to be active and that he gets bored. He went on to say that he doesn't want to spend all his days laying around watching TV and he'd like some pleasant company when he goes out to the movies. We continued chatting at my car and he reluctantly asked me for a hug. Immediately assuming that I would refuse. But I didn't. There seemed to be such a need to connect with another person that I saw no harm in giving a brief embrace to this "stranger". We parted company with the plan to call and keep in touch as we approached his birthday time.

This encounter started me thinking...along with an article on Alzheimer’s and sex among the elderly (Washington City Paper)...about the question of aging and the elderly. I know that as I've gotten older, my ability to feel emotionally has not diminished. (Of course I'm not 73..but I'll let you know when I get there) So when do we stop seeing older people as people and as "old". It seems that the youth doesn't make friends with the elder because some how they are supposed to play with people their own size (or age...lol) We frown on young women that we see strolling arm and arm with an older man. We assume, usually, only 2 things, either it’s her grandfather, or her sugar daddy and that she's using him for money. BUT, aren't they still people with personality, style, conversation and caring to give. At which age does this schism start? Is it a look that the person has that says, “Stay back! um Old" I think elderly people as well as teens live in a no man's land where touching and tenderness are at a great deficient. How do we connect with each other young and old with out the confusion? I don't know the answer to this question for everyone, but I plan to keep my date with my "new" friend and get to know "him" not just his age.

One more thing....I want to challenge you. When you are on the bus, or out and about, look into the eyes of the elderly and see if they are lonely. See if life and their loved ones have relegated them to the sidelines of life’s experiences. Take the time to connect with them. Listen to their stories and laugh at their jokes (if they are funny). And talk with them just like regular people. Compliment them when they look and smell nice. Notice them. And MOST of ALL remember that one day, you will be an elder.